One of the things you are always taught in any social media training is connect with your audience and connect regularly.  Well here I am with my regular connection....about once every year or two!  Yes I realize that is probably not what they intended. 

This blog is an outpouring of my thoughts, a journal of changes, and a log of the trials and tribulations we have experienced over the years.  This past year has been one for sure.  

Our on-farm creamery has grown exponentially since we began almost 4 years ago.  Last summer we spent maxed out on what we could do.  We were fortunate to be awaiting larger processing equipment, but as we waited, we ran batch after batch in our small 30-gallon pasteurizer.  We spent more time in those 4 white walls than we did in our house.  I wiped more milk jugs than tears.  It was a hard season for us.  It was a blessing from God for sure that we had outgrown our initial goals long before we projected.  Those blessings also brought hardships...growing a business is hard...not only financially but it's also hard on your family and your faith.  It stretches you far beyond where you are comfortable.  Growing means even longer days and shorter nights.  It means less time for things that we enjoy off farm.  It means bare bones when it comes to traditional schoolwork.  It means short tempers and sharp tongues, for which we must beg for forgiveness often.  

2024 brought new equipment mostly installed and operating.  It has lessened the time we spend in the creamery and allowed us more time to eat meals with our children and sleep.  We haven't found the perfect balance yet...and let's be honest we probably never will.  But we are farmers...and we will keep chugging along because that is what we do...we face challenges, we pray, we figure things out and make do with what we have.  

Mentioning school...yes we still homeschool...somehow...somedays...we get by.  That is how I feel our home education has gone the past 2 years.  We made it through, but it wasn't pretty.  It wasn't what I planned or dreamed it would be.  Our oldest finished his first 2 years of high school.  His desire for knowledge isn't on topics found in textbooks and lesson plans.  He dreads the idea of traditional book work and well honestly any mention of school in general.  Our younger 3 still find joy in learning all the things.  Their spark of interest and self education still remains.  I pray that this year we will be able to rekindle that spark in our oldest as well.  

This year I am praying we accomplish 2 things on the homeschool front... 

1. More consistent family discipleship and improve family relations; which will lead our children to the foot of the cross...whether they decide to accept Jesus is between them and the Saviour, but we have to lead them to him.

2. Develop a desire for knowledge and self education...by tossing some traditional textbooks out the window and using more real books and digging deeper into their interest I am hoping to increase their desire for knowledge in all areas, expand their sphere of interest and help them be motivated to self-educate on some topics and areas of study.  

That might be asking too much but those are the goals I have for the upcoming school year.  

We have goals for the farm and creamery as well.  We are still putting those thoughts together as we navigate growing our business and our babies.  

Frustration is at the core of most disagreements, arguments, and attitudes.  One party or the other…heck maybe both is experience frustration.  When the level of frustration rises it causes pressure to build and otherwise calm, relatively quiet, easy-going people “lose it.” 

While I would never describe myself as calm, definitely not quiet and honestly, I’m not easy going either…I am usually pretty much the same temperament…I am a distracted, devoted, louder than most, full speed ahead then crash, high strung individual. 

My teenage son is the exact opposite in some ways…he’s laid back, moves at his own pace, highly talkative, friendly, water off a duck’s back kinda guy.  We clash…regularly. 

That slower than molasses pace causes me frustration, that “whatever” attitude when consequences are doled out causes me frustration.  The lack of foresight into how his action affect others causes me frustration. 

Heck…I make his sound like a bad kid if you only know him through this post…he’s not a bad kid…he’s actually pretty awesome.  He works step for step with his daddy and I daily (maybe not at the speed or the quality I expect but he’s there).  He loves his younger siblings and enjoys spending time with them.  He is passionate about the outdoors, farming, and welding…but he still causes me frustration. 

Any relationship is going to experience these ebbs and flows…somedays though it’s more than a momma’s heart and mind can handle.  I wish I could tell you in those minutes I laid it all at the foot of the Cross…but I don’t.  I explode!  I yell, I fuss…sometimes I cuss.  I do exactly what God has called me not to do.  I provoke my son, I don’t show him grace, I don’t speak to him kindly…and then I feel…devastated…I am devastated that I didn’t in my time of frustration point him to Jesus but instead I pushed him away.   I unleashed a tongue lashing instead of correcting him through godly love and discipline. 

You see as much as he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ, his Savior…I am too.  I am a sinner, who constantly needs her Savior.  I am a human that falls short of HIS glory daily.  I can’t be the only momma who experiences this, can I?

Mommas what are we to do?  How are we to react?  How are we to discipline and disciple our children when we, too, are sinners? 

1.     We pray for wisdom, guidance, forgiveness, and better ways to respond when frustration takes over

2.    We ask for forgiveness from God AND those we have hurt on earth.

3.    We read God’s word and seek wisdom from the source.  We don’t rely ourselves but on God.

My desire for my children isn’t to get into Harvard or any other Ivy League school, my desire is for my children to get into Heaven.  I can’t get them there, heck I can’t even get myself there, but I can show them the ONE who can.  I can do my best to lead them on the path set out for them until it’s their turn to lead.  I can point them in the direction of the Cross…and most importantly as their momma I can pray.  Pray for their salvation, their safety, and pray for me.  Pray that I guide them with the grace, kindness, and love that only the Holy Spirit can give me.  Pray that I have impressed upon them their NEED for Jesus and a thankfulness that HE paid the ultimate price for them.  Pray that they know that no matter what Jesus & momma love them.  Pray that they have learned that correction is part of that love. 

I don’t expect to see results today, tomorrow…honestly, I may never see them…but I do pray that each passing day I am growing in my relationship with Jesus and guiding each of them to grow in theirs. 

Frustration is a human emotion; the Bible even tells us in Deuteronomy 28:20 that God sends frustration.  Thankfully, the Bible also tells us in Proverbs 3:6 ESV “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” So when frustration sets in I urge to call out to God and remember His word… “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” James 1:19. 

Until we meet again may God bless you real good!

Caci

 Hey y’all!  It’s been a while!  Our life has changed so much in he last 3 years!  Honestly it’s hard to believe it’s been over 3 years since I typed a blog post.  It's even harder to believe that I walked out of my office job 4 years ago this week to start maternity leave with our youngest never to go back.  That was one of the scariest financial moves we have ever made, but it was the best move we've ever made for our family.

As you can tell the focus of this blog has changed a little as well.  I still plan to share about our family farm, but also I want this to be a place that all moms can find encouragement in their day.  I don't have all the answers.  Heck, ask my sister and best friend, they will tell you I often look to others for advice and guidance.  I'm still learning to walk with God, but I stumble and fall just like a toddler.  I'm still learning how to raise my children up to love God with all their heart, mind and soul.  I am still learning to how teach my children academically.  I'm still learning how to serve my husband the way God intended.  I'm still learning new ways of doing things around the farm, the house and creamery.  Just like you I'm still learning...

Please consider joining me on this journey...

Until next time may God bless you real good,

Caci