To tell the truth I'm struggling,

struggling to keep my head above water 

while drowning in a sea of over-commitment.  

I know i'm not the only one who faces this struggle.

I know it's not just me:

who is constantly shuttling from one thing to the next,

who's calendar is filled with meetings at least 4 nights of the week,

whose house that has more laundry piles than days of the week, 

or who some days just throws her hands in the air and says, "Forget it, I'm done!"

While there is some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one,

I am still filled with sadness.  

Sadness because I question:

 what example am I setting for the boys,

what will I teach our daughter about homemaking and managing a family,

how is this chaos we currently live in affecting my marriage,

what are my "true" priorities?

But with all that said there comes another problem...what do you give up?  When do you say no...

I love everything that takes up my time,

I enjoy all my "extra" committees and can never decide what to give up.

You see I'm passionate about so many things that it's overwhelming.  

This year I told myself I would say Yes to my family more than to others...

I'm not sure that I've done that.  

I find myself often going back to that one calming verse: 

How do you juggle?

Any advice for the overwhelmed mom?

Until we meet again may God bless you & keep you!  

Caci

Every year I develop a list of things I want to do.  

Some years it's a list of 25 things...

last years was 14...

this year there are 5 things I want to do.  

None of them focus on blogging...

these are all very personal goals that I want to accomplish in my life and my family's life.

That doesn't mean I don't plan to blog...

it just means we are going to take some time to truly focus what's important.
I have goals for the blog but honestly they are lengthy and probably not that interesting...not that my personal ones are either but you know...

So what are my 5 in 15?

1) Study God's word more.

Study by myself, with my family and with friends.  I need to dig deeper and soak up all he has to offer.

2) Be thankful for my blessings.

As the year wound down I began to hear myself (and others around me) complain more and more about what we didn't have or our circumstances.  After reflecting it made me realized that I need to be more thankful for the life God has given me, even if it's not how my mind planned it.

3) Rid our life of excess.

This means excess clothes, toys, debt, and commitment, among other things.  Our lives are so full of stuff we can't find what's important.  I want to simplify our life so that we can truly enjoy the things that matter.  

4) Sew because I want to...not because I have too.

I love to sew but the only time my sewing machine gets used is when I need to complete an order.   I want to take the time this year to sew those items on my list I have been dreaming about.

5) Complete our family yearbooks.

I did Wyatt a year book for his 1st year.  I started on his second and never finished.  I would love to be able to complete one book for each boy for each year and a family book as well.  I also want to complete our family cookbook which I have been working on for about 5 years now...

So there you have it...

my 5 in 15.  

Do you set goals you wish to accomplish each year?

Share them in the comments below!

May God bless you & keep you!

Caci

What She Read Wednesday is a weekly feature here on The Farm Wife, sharing what the farm family has been reading.  Our bookshelves contains everything from animal husbandry, spiritual guides, to cookbooks.  I hope you enjoy our take on these books.

This week's book is an awesome kids book, that both boys have enjoyed reading. It's a great deal because you truly get 3 books in one.  We love The Berenstain Bears in general but this one is a great addition to our collection.  The Farmbaby loved the color illustrations.  Farmboy did really well reading most of the words but as a beginning reader he definitely needed some assistance throughout.     As a mom I love the message that this book sent.

We have used the first 2 of the 3 books multiple times since starting school to help calm fears and remind our oldest that God is always near.  I love that the Bible is referenced multiple times throughout each story.  The only thing is I would like to see maybe a notation for actual scripture references as some of the references don't jump out at you.

The third book tells the story of earning and spending money.  I love that the cubs had to work for the money they got and the items they requested were just handed over.  This is a great way to introduce the idea of earning and saving money to elementary age and younger children.  As a parent, I would have loved for the book to include tithing as well.

Overall the three books teach great values and tie everyday life back to serving and trusting in the Lord.  I hope you and your family enjoy these stories as much as we have :)

Until we meet again....God bless you & keep you

Caci

   

Honestly I think many women (and men) are born worriers.  

I was not.  

As a young child I was an extremely carefree spirit (just ask my family).

I had no fear,

or worry in the world.  

That all changed dramatically when I was 8 1/2 years old.  

A very close friend was killed in a car accident.

I was at my Dad's when it happened.

From that moment on I feared leaving my mom and my sister.

I would have panic attacks when they would leave even for a few hours.

Fear and worry overtook my mind anytime I was away from home or my family.

Fast forward a few years, when I was 14, another very dear friend was killed in a car accident.

I was at home this time.

A couple of months after the 2nd accident I realized that it didn't matter where I was.

Then I carried my fear and worry with me everywhere.

For the most part I hid it very well, no one outside of my very tight circle knew this was a struggle.

I would hide my tears when leaving on overnight trips.

I learned to cry without making a sound.

Two years later the man who had the greatest influence on my life, my Granddaddy,  

passed away after a long battle with various illnesses.

Again the fear and worry struck this time with a vengeance.  

On the outside I appeared to deal with it all well,

on the inside I struggled desperately.  

All I wanted was to have my fear and worry comforted.

I knew God but I didn't have a relationship with him.

He was just the person I asked why to all the time.

Why did he allow this to happen to me...

Why couldn't I be from a family with more money...

Why were my parents divorced...

Why was I not able to do this or that...

Soon college came and I turned from asking why,

to seeking comfort in other ways.

The first 8 months of my college career could have killed me,

but God watched over me,

he lead me away from that life.

He brought a constant source of comfort to me,

God knew what I needed and he sent that comfort

in the form of my favorite farmer.

As time passed God gently nudged me into a full blown relationship with Him,

where I find myself completely lost without Him.

Last night was one of those nights where I felt lost.

I couldn't get hold of the farmer on the phone,

it was late and the same old worries and fears started to rise in my heart.  

When these fears arise, panic sets in...

what am I going to do if something happens to the farmer,

what about our farmboys??

I have learned in these times I have to mentally stop myself,

and refocus on God.

Everything that happens is all part of His plan, 

and His plan is far better than ours.

And then I pray...

praising Him for His love,

thanking Him for our blessings,

and begging Him for guidance.

This the verse that plays repeatedly in my head during these moments

Why do you worry??  

Share in the comments.

Until we meet again...

Caci

We got married on one of the hottest days in July of 2005.  

In Georgia no less.

Which my bridesmaids loved 

(they were all wearing full length black gowns :)   

We had an afternoon thunderstorm 

which created some humidity to say the least.

But it was an amazing day full of family, friends, and fun.  

I am so amazed that God created someone so loving, patient and kind.  

 Fast forward a few years, kids, and cars later.

I am more in love with him now than I was then.

He has taught me so much over the years.

And the amount of grace and love he has shown me could float Noah's ark again. 

 .

All of these things make life seem to fly by me at break neck speed, not allowing me time to enjoy

So this year I have set 14 goals for myself.  If you want to check out why I picked these 14 read this.  We are 8 weeks into the new year and I thought today would be a great day to check in and see how I am doing!

1. Pray about everything!  

I still don't prayer nearly enough but each day I TRY to make sure I am in prayer.  I haven't been using my notebook as well as I should so I plan to pick that back up.  For me it helps to have a list so I know what I need pray about.  

2. Study Scripture Daily.

The last 2 weeks have been terrible.  I haven't been studying nearly enough.  Funny I have found myself to be more irritable and unorganized...i don't think it was just a coincidence  

3.  Tithe 1st, not last.

Still working on this one but we have been tithing more often.  It is officially now the 1st item in our budget as well!

4. Memorize 12 verses of Scripture

I need to step my game up!

5. Organize my life.

HaHaHa...not even sure we can call this a work in progress! I have updated our billing system on the computer but that it about the extent.

6. Declutter Our House

I have started this process.  I actually have taken off LOADS of stuff...but it just seems to multiply.  I had originally set up rooms for each month and while I have worked in those areas I wouldn't call them complete.  I did start in the boys room and made a good deal of headway but still have a LONG LONG way to go.  I did just purchase a new book I am hoping will encourage and inspire me in this task!

.  

7. Set a daily schedule and stick to it!! 

Definitely need to work on this one!  I have overslept 4 of the last 5 days!

8. Pay off Debt!!!

I am excited to say I have made a huge dent in this area.  I have multiple accounts with a zero balance!!!  Next month I should be able to add 2 more accounts to that list!  YAY!!  I am hoping to start the envelope system with my next paycheck.  So we shall see...got to get all my ducks in a row KWIM.

9. Put at least $1000 in our savings account for a rainy day fund

Not there yet but we do have some funds in our savings account which is exciting!

10.  Put at least $200 extra into each of the boy's savings account.

I have a plan for this but we will see how it works out.  Still need to open the baby's account instead of just letting it sit in his jar at the house LOL.  

11.  Do a family outing once a month.  

We did do a family outing in February for William's birthday.  I mean we went out for lunch...that counts right??  

12.  Exercise 3 times a week and include the boys as often as possible.  

This goal has been hit or miss.  Some weeks are great...others are not.  Hoping to improve as the weather gets warmer.  I have been working toward getting healthier and you can read more about that in the Thin Down Thursday feature on the blog.  

13.  Go on a date night just William & I once a month

We have yet to do this but we did get a 2 hour time slot one afternoon just the 2 of us...that counts right? 

14.  Post 60 blog post, plus keep our social media sites updated.

So far this is probably my most successful goal.  This post here means I'm 1/3 of my way to posting 60 times this year.  I have also been making sure I post regularly (at least once or twice a week) on our other SM sites!  

Caci